"Fear of Man"

No, not fear of men...fear of MAN. :)
In other words, fear of what people think about you!
Anybody out there have this fear?

For many years it was the primary fear of my life.
It consumed my thoughts daily. I wasted many hours of many days trying to please everyone around me. I tried to do everything within my power to make sure my peers, students, friends, and family were happy with me and liked me. The acceptance of those around me became my primary focus. I believed the lie that their approval was more important than God's. I began to define myself based on what others said of me. My identity was caught up in the minds of others. If I could sense that they thought I failed at something, then I considered myself a failure. If they thought I did a good job, then I was successful. Needless to say, my life was pretty miserable. For one thing, we can't control what others think about us, and second, human beings will always fail us in one way or another. People can like you one week and dislike you the next. My own likes and dislikes can be like shifting sand.

I even found myself assuming what people were thinking about me---and my assumptions were usually completely off base. If someone didn't compliment me on my singing, or on one of my student's singing, then they must have hated my performance.

Can you see what I miserable life I led during those years?

So what does this have to do with faith?
Well, I believe that anytime we fear something (or someone), its because we are choosing to believe a lie rather than God's truth.

Here is what the Bible has to say about this type of fear:

Prov. 29:25 Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.

Is. 51:7 “Hear me, you who know what is right, you people who have my law in your hearts: Do not fear the reproach of men or be terrified by their insults. For the moth will eat them up like a garment; the worm will devour them like wool. But my righteousness will last forever, my salvation through all generations.”

Psa. 56:4 In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
What can mortal man do to me?

Psa. 118:6 The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?

Jesus said to the Pharisees: John 5:44 How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?

Jesus also said: “So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Whoever acknowledges me before men, I But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven."

I recently heard a sermon on this topic by a guest pastor at the Village Church in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, and he read an exerpt from a book entitled "When People are Big, God is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependancy, and the Fear of Man" by Ed Welch. Read these questions and see if it fits you. It was me to a T!

1. Do you crave compliments?
2. Do you say derogatory things about yourself in order to compel others to praise you?
3. Are you ever afraid that you might be exposed as an impostor?
4.Is your life spent managing your reputation and other people's impressions of you?
5. Are you overly concerned with how you look, how much you weigh, etc. Do you look at yourself in the mirror--or in the glass windows of shops as you walk down the street?
6. Do you think about your self worth alot?
7. Do you feel unappreciated?
8. Do you make excuses for your mistakes?
9. Do you blame others for your mistakes because you can't stand the thought of failing before other people?
10. Do you show favoritism? If someone can increase your reputation, do you show favoritism to them, while neglecting those who don't have a "name" for themselves?
11. Are you over-committed? Can you not say no?
12. Do you compare yourself to others and feel really great when your competitor fails?

Let me just say that at one time I could answer a hardy YES to every question. I was in bondange to the fear of man. There are still times when I struggle with #9.

Why?

Because I trust the opinion of people more than I trust the opinion of God.
I wasn't truly believing what God said about me in the Bible. I could not
believe the statement by Beth Moore: "I am Who God Says I am". His favor
was not enough for me.

Finally, God allowed me to become so sick of my daily life that I ran to Him and to
His Word for answers. I studied the book, "The Search for Significance" and "Approval Addiction" and began to beg for God to set me free from my unbelief.
Even though there are moments here and there that I still struggle with this, by and large I can say that I am free from the fear of man.

How did I get to this place?
MEMORIZE SCRIPTURE: This was a huge help! One scripture I memorized right away was
1Sam. 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

EPHESIANS 1 is a great chapter to study and learn. There is such great truth there about who we are in Christ! We are accepted, chosen, justified, pure and holy...and many more truths!

Once God's Word is inscribed on your heart, you will begin to believe His truth over the lies of the enemy and your life will change!

PRAYER: "God help me! Show me in my life and daily thoughts when I am not believing your Word."

ACCOUNTABILITY: Ask a close friend or mentor to pray for you and hold you accountable when they see this manifesting itself in your life.

OTHER BOOKS: The Search for Significance; Approval Addition by Joyce Meyer; Breaking Free by Beth Moore, Praying God's Word by Beth Moore, When People are Big and God is Small by Ed Welch.

I think God also showed me that when I was doing this, I was essentially slapping Him in the face. I was denying Christ's love for me and giving little worth to the pain and suffering he endured in order to make me holy and pure before God.
This is grievous sin.

So, if this is your struggle, too then pray for God to set you free! HE WILL!!
But you have to cooperate. Cooperating is the hard part!!

It all boils down to believing God and how much he loves you.
He loves you with an unfailing love. No matter how many times you fail or sin,
his love for you never decreases. You cannot earn his love. He is love and he is
crazy about you.

Psa. 90:14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

Psa. 143:8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.

Is. 54:10 Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.