What is your deepest longing? I'm not really talking about what you desire most right now, but what you have desired over a very long period of time. Its the thirst of your soul that returns time and again and you are faced with a decision about how to quench it. There is always a trigger that awakens this longing. We go through life desperately seeking satisfaction, for this deep burning desire to be filled. Its very easy to focus on the longing itself and not notice the events, thoughts, or people that trigger it in the first place. I am confident that I was one of those people for a very long time. Instead of knowing the triggers for my deep longings and keeping a watchful eye on my thoughts and dreams when they occurred, I often allowed myself to fill this tug on my heart in ways that would not truly satisfy.
Okay, I'll get a little more specific. I am a hopelessly romantic person. I know I've written this in previous blogs, but I feel it needs re-stating here. :) I absolutely love Jane Austen novels, Anne of Green Gables, Little Women, and every movie based upon these books that has been made over the years. Since I was a young girl, like many girls, I wanted my handsome prince to sweep me off my feet and ride away with me into the sunset. Like many women, I believed that when I found the love of my life and married him, then surely that longing would disappear. It didn't. But instead of asking deeper questions of myself, I just believed that my husband was supposed to meet them, by golly! He's not giving me my Mr. Darcy moments nearly as much as I want them! Sure, Mr. Darcy was there when we first started dating but....now we've been married for several years and...well...its different! Little did I realize that I was expecting way too much of the man God had given me to spend my life with here on earth. I was expecting him to meet very deep longings that only Jesus Christ could satisfy.
So what triggered all of these thoughts again tonight? Well, I watched the most recent adaptation of Jane Eyre. Because I now know that watching movies like this awakens something in me, I went into it with full awareness that after I viewed the movie, I might need to have a quiet time with my Savior. And, sure enough, a complex and diverse amount of thoughts and emotions began to bubble up inside. I don't think I can even begin to articulate them, so I won't, but suffice to say that I was feeling very deeply. I knew immediately that my thought life could go one direction, or another and I decided that one way can lead to a despairing cycle and the other can lead to a quenching of my thirst. I chose the latter. Have I always? No. The reason...I didn't realize just how much of a battle field my mind was. I didn't really realize that I had the power to take thoughts captive and to renew my mind with the powerful Sword of the Spirit. I would meditate and meditate and dream and wish and long...and I'd feel miserable!
I will never forget one night after I watched the most recent re-make of Pride and Prejudice. I know I've mentioned it before in my writing too, but again, I feel its relevant to bring it up again. There is something about that movie that just takes my breath away. Especially one of the final scenes where Elizabeth is pacing outside her home and just over the hillside, she sees Darcy coming for her. Its clear that he'd been walking all night and thinking of nothing but her. The music, the acting, the cinematography, and the artistry is just spectacular in this moment..and...it takes my breath away every time I see it. I remember watching it one night and thinking to myself..."I wish that was me." Do you see how dangerous that one thought can be if allowed to grow, deepen, and take hold? You see, the people who made that movie know that many women would have that thought when they viewed it. Movie makers, music writers, magazine editors, authors, and producers are counting on our having that thought and acting upon it. It is a thought that drives our entire society and culture today. Both men and women build on that thought and go outside of marriage to have their desires met. People strive and strive to have position, power, and success and lose everything that counts in the process. There is always a "greener" pasture, so to speak.
But that evening, in the moment that I was thinking that thought, the Holy Spirit within me beckoned me to take that thought to a different source of satisfaction. I was being called to lift my cup up to The One and Only person who could know my deepest longing the way I wanted to be known and still love me with an unfailing love. To this day, I cannot describe in words the depth of truth I felt in my quiet time with God that evening. But, I will never forget it, because it was the first time I had ever taken my deepest thirsts to Him and Him alone. And, he filled my cup to overflowing and satisfied my deepest longings. It was as though my Savior was saying, "I'm your Mr. Darcy, Kristin. It's me, and one day you will see me coming for you--for you--my bride. I gave my life for you. You are beautiful and you are going to spend eternity with me." And from then on, I knew that I couldn't expect anyone else in the world to meet my strongest soul-needs. There is only one source of living water.
"If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, "from his innermost being will flow rivers of living water."
Over and over in the book of John, Jesus says, "He who believes in me..." believes. Faith. Trust.
When we choose to believe that Jesus Christ loves us completely and with an unfailing love despite all our faults and choices--despite all our hopeless attempts to fill our empty cups--something amazing happens. When we trust His character and His Word above what others may say or think of us, and above what society may say about us--we begin to taste what true satisfaction can be and the freedom that comes from it. "You will know The Truth, and The Truth will set you free."
It all boils down to faith.
All who are thirsty
All who are weak,
Come to the fountain,
Dip your heart in the streams of life.
Let the pain and the sorrow be washed away,
In the waves of His mercy
As deep cries out to deep...
Come Lord Jesus, come.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Who Are You Following?
Can I just say that God has my attention? I'm sure many can relate. Ever come across a teaching in scripture that God decides to hammer over your head over several days and through several different avenues? You read the word and are caused to meditate. You hear a sermon on that exact teaching. A friend calls you and talks about the struggles he/she is having with the very same thing you are being convicted of by the Holy Spirit, and finally, your daughter, out of the blue but clearly prompted by God, says something that brings you to your knees in awe of the God who loves you and pursues you like no one you've ever known. Well, this is me right now--today.
The specific teaching that I am referring to is that of following Jesus.
I have been researching possible Bible studies for the Luther College gals this fall, and I had come across a new DVD/small group study that has been put out by Francis Chan. The title is: BASIC, and it is a study about the basic truths of the Christian faith, and is meant to help us as believers to understand the Triune God (God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), and through that understanding to operate as the church that we are called to be. A few days ago, I watched the first video on The Fear of God, and it was great. But, somehow, I knew that the one that would hit me between the eyes would be the second film, which speaks of what it means to be a follower of Jesus. I had been putting off watching it, and I wasn't even planning on viewing it tonight, but a series of events that God set in motion led me to watch it tonight--and all of a sudden everything that God has been trying to get across to me began to fall into place.
A few days ago, I watched the "trailer" for the film on the BASIC website: http://basicseries.com/films/follow-jesus.php. At the time, I didn't want to pay to watch the full length version, but what was shown and said in that short teaser got me thinking about what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ. If you haven't already, go take a peek at it. Its only a few seconds long.
Okay, so I've been doing the Precept Upon Precept study of Covenant (by Kay Arthur). This week in the study I have been studying the aspect of covenant as a solemn and binding agreement. Kay takes you through several passages of scripture to define what it really means to make a covenant. In the Hebrew, the word used is actually "carath" which means to cut. I've had a year of Hebrew study, and there is a word which means "to make" and its interesting that Moses does not use that word when referring to the covenant God made with Abraham, and later with the Israelites. He uses the word "cut" instead. And, when you look at what takes place in Genesis 15--Abraham takes the animals and cuts them into two pieces. Then, a smoking pot/oven and flaming torch pass through the pieces. Scholars believe this is God himself passing through the pieces and confirming His covenant with Abraham. This passing through or walk, was known as a walk of death. The walk of death was a testimony of the covenanting partners "to die to their own independent living. Now they were to live always in consideration of the other and the covenant they had made." During ancient times, if two people made a covenant in this way, they were saying that God should do the same thing to them that was done to the animals if either party broke the covenant. Therefore, cutting covenant was serious business.
When God made the Covenant of Law with the Israelites, he tells Moses to communicate to them that if they obey His laws they will be blessed and kept safe. If they abandon the covenant and pursue their own desires and other gods, then they were opening themselves up for God's judgement.
Fast forward to the night the New Covenant was instigated by Jesus Christ. It is the night of the Passover Feast. Jesus breaks the bread and says "This is my body, broken for you." (Broken in two pieces for you!), then he took the cup of wine and said, "This is my blood, poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins." (Did you notice he doesn't say all? He says "many." Keep this in mind as we go on. After reading this passage, Kay takes us to 1 Corinthians, where the people there were taking very lightly this "rite" of the New Covenant. Instead of examining themselves and their own sin in the light of Christ's covenant with us, they were eating and drinking to their fill and demeaning the price Jesus paid. God was disciplining them severely because of this, and Paul was clear in his rebuke of them.
When Jesus dies on the cross, an astounding things occurs. The veil in the temple, which for centuries had kept everyone but the High Priest out of God's presence in the Holy of Holies was torn IN TWO pieces from top to bottom. Later, the writer of Hebrews in Chapter 10 states that this veil represented the breaking of Jesus' body/flesh. Here's a question for you--have you ever broken a loaf of bread from bottom to top? I never have--its always top to bottom. Interesting how it all ties together!! So, Jesus himself was broken for our iniquities and he took the walk of death through the veil, which also symbolized his own body. He is the covenental partner that will NEVER abandon the covenant! We enter into covenant with Him when we believe on Him as our substitute--our reedemer--our Lord. A person who enters into a covenant is committing themselves fully to their covenanting partner. Jesus says of himself "I am THE way, THE truth, and THE life. No one can come to the Father but by/through me."
Earlier in His ministry, before Jesus puts the New Covenant in motion, he makes another very clear statement to those around Him. "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me...."
When we cut covenant with Christ, we take the walk of death too. We die to self. "I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the one who loved me and gave himself for me." Gal. 2:20. THE LIFE I LIVE IN MY TIME HERE ON EARTH IS BY FAITH. FAITH! It all boils down to faith!! Even for Abraham, God reckoned him righteous by his faith! Galatians 3:9 calls Abraham, "the believer"! After he believes God and puts his faith in Him, God cuts the covenant. And, out of his faith comes obedience. This is where the "following" comes in. If we truly are putting our faith in Jesus (notice I am using present active tense! We are "faithing" in Jesus, and this faith results in obedient following.
Francis Chan makes a strong statement in his video. He says that there are millions of people who say they are followers of Christ, but they aren't following him. They aren't doing the things he said to do. He makes the point that we can't just say we follow him and then walk down a different path. In Romans chapter 2, Paul makes it clear that when we don't obey the truth, we are selfishly ambitious. In other words, its either follow Christ, or follow self. I see no grey area here at all. In Hebrews 3, we see that it is the unbelieving heart that falls away from God. If I am not "faithing" in Jesus, then I am "faithing" in myself and I am deliberately rebelling against God. When I don't obey Him, I'm being selfish and acting in unbelief. I have been reminded this week that I have taken the walk of death! I must die to self! This can manifest itself in so many different ways: in the way I treat my husband, the way I communicate with my children, the way I choose to spend my time and energy, and so much more.
In the midst of being reminded of this teaching, I was telephoned by a former student and we had a long conversation that really centered around believing God and following Christ. We both got off the phone encouraged and renewed in our focus to follow Jesus. Also in Hebrews chapter 3 is the statement, "So let us continue encouraging each other...so that your hearts will not be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. We follow Jesus when we encourage and exhort our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ--and we are called to do this everyday!
Another way we are called to follow Jesus was clearly pointed out to me today by my five year old daughter, Caroline. About a month ago, she and I were talking about what it means to give to those who are in need. I told her that Jesus tells us to help the poor and those who have no food or clothing. We hadn't talked about it at all since then, and all of a sudden today, she brought it up. We were in the car headed home when she said: 'Mommy, I think we should give some food and money to the poor." In my very adult way I said, "Well, I will try and figure out a place in town where we could do that. We'll do it tomorrow." Then she says, "Mom, lets just go to every house and see if they are poor and need food or money, then we would know. Lets do it now! Today!" I was overwhelmed by the fervency with which she spoke. "God wants us to do this", she said.
Just before I wrote this blog, I began to put all these pieces together and I realized that God prompted my little Caroline to demonstrate to me what it means to follow Christ.
1) God said it, and we should do it! (I believe God, so I'm going to obey Him)
2) We don't need to delay--we must do it now! (Delayed obedience is really disobedience)
3) Lets not just do it half-baked, lets go to every house and see if there is a need (Deny yourself fully and give your all to Him).
As I finish this day and this blog entry, I am reminded again of how much God loves us and how He is involved in the most intricate details of our lives, and he will use a fantastic Bible teacher, an authentic and real preacher, a student and friend, and 5 year old child to speak His truth. And, he did it all within just a few days. There is no doubt that my faith is strengthened, and I am convinced that there is some dying to self that needs to be done. I am praying that God will show me the specific ways I have neglected to trust and follow Jesus. Trust and obey, for there's no other way...
"There he hangs: Jesus, the Passover Lamb, in the veil of His flesh--God's covenant sacrifice! The way to God! Do you see Him? Do you believe? Are you ready to enter into covenant? O beloved, do you realize it is a solemn, binding agreement; one that is to be honored? Are you willing to die to your independent way of life?" (Kay Arthur)
Where you go, I'll go.
Where you stay, I'll stay.
When you move, I'll move.
I will follow.
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve, I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow You.
The specific teaching that I am referring to is that of following Jesus.
I have been researching possible Bible studies for the Luther College gals this fall, and I had come across a new DVD/small group study that has been put out by Francis Chan. The title is: BASIC, and it is a study about the basic truths of the Christian faith, and is meant to help us as believers to understand the Triune God (God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), and through that understanding to operate as the church that we are called to be. A few days ago, I watched the first video on The Fear of God, and it was great. But, somehow, I knew that the one that would hit me between the eyes would be the second film, which speaks of what it means to be a follower of Jesus. I had been putting off watching it, and I wasn't even planning on viewing it tonight, but a series of events that God set in motion led me to watch it tonight--and all of a sudden everything that God has been trying to get across to me began to fall into place.
A few days ago, I watched the "trailer" for the film on the BASIC website: http://basicseries.com/films/follow-jesus.php. At the time, I didn't want to pay to watch the full length version, but what was shown and said in that short teaser got me thinking about what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ. If you haven't already, go take a peek at it. Its only a few seconds long.
Okay, so I've been doing the Precept Upon Precept study of Covenant (by Kay Arthur). This week in the study I have been studying the aspect of covenant as a solemn and binding agreement. Kay takes you through several passages of scripture to define what it really means to make a covenant. In the Hebrew, the word used is actually "carath" which means to cut. I've had a year of Hebrew study, and there is a word which means "to make" and its interesting that Moses does not use that word when referring to the covenant God made with Abraham, and later with the Israelites. He uses the word "cut" instead. And, when you look at what takes place in Genesis 15--Abraham takes the animals and cuts them into two pieces. Then, a smoking pot/oven and flaming torch pass through the pieces. Scholars believe this is God himself passing through the pieces and confirming His covenant with Abraham. This passing through or walk, was known as a walk of death. The walk of death was a testimony of the covenanting partners "to die to their own independent living. Now they were to live always in consideration of the other and the covenant they had made." During ancient times, if two people made a covenant in this way, they were saying that God should do the same thing to them that was done to the animals if either party broke the covenant. Therefore, cutting covenant was serious business.
When God made the Covenant of Law with the Israelites, he tells Moses to communicate to them that if they obey His laws they will be blessed and kept safe. If they abandon the covenant and pursue their own desires and other gods, then they were opening themselves up for God's judgement.
Fast forward to the night the New Covenant was instigated by Jesus Christ. It is the night of the Passover Feast. Jesus breaks the bread and says "This is my body, broken for you." (Broken in two pieces for you!), then he took the cup of wine and said, "This is my blood, poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins." (Did you notice he doesn't say all? He says "many." Keep this in mind as we go on. After reading this passage, Kay takes us to 1 Corinthians, where the people there were taking very lightly this "rite" of the New Covenant. Instead of examining themselves and their own sin in the light of Christ's covenant with us, they were eating and drinking to their fill and demeaning the price Jesus paid. God was disciplining them severely because of this, and Paul was clear in his rebuke of them.
When Jesus dies on the cross, an astounding things occurs. The veil in the temple, which for centuries had kept everyone but the High Priest out of God's presence in the Holy of Holies was torn IN TWO pieces from top to bottom. Later, the writer of Hebrews in Chapter 10 states that this veil represented the breaking of Jesus' body/flesh. Here's a question for you--have you ever broken a loaf of bread from bottom to top? I never have--its always top to bottom. Interesting how it all ties together!! So, Jesus himself was broken for our iniquities and he took the walk of death through the veil, which also symbolized his own body. He is the covenental partner that will NEVER abandon the covenant! We enter into covenant with Him when we believe on Him as our substitute--our reedemer--our Lord. A person who enters into a covenant is committing themselves fully to their covenanting partner. Jesus says of himself "I am THE way, THE truth, and THE life. No one can come to the Father but by/through me."
Earlier in His ministry, before Jesus puts the New Covenant in motion, he makes another very clear statement to those around Him. "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me...."
When we cut covenant with Christ, we take the walk of death too. We die to self. "I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the one who loved me and gave himself for me." Gal. 2:20. THE LIFE I LIVE IN MY TIME HERE ON EARTH IS BY FAITH. FAITH! It all boils down to faith!! Even for Abraham, God reckoned him righteous by his faith! Galatians 3:9 calls Abraham, "the believer"! After he believes God and puts his faith in Him, God cuts the covenant. And, out of his faith comes obedience. This is where the "following" comes in. If we truly are putting our faith in Jesus (notice I am using present active tense! We are "faithing" in Jesus, and this faith results in obedient following.
Francis Chan makes a strong statement in his video. He says that there are millions of people who say they are followers of Christ, but they aren't following him. They aren't doing the things he said to do. He makes the point that we can't just say we follow him and then walk down a different path. In Romans chapter 2, Paul makes it clear that when we don't obey the truth, we are selfishly ambitious. In other words, its either follow Christ, or follow self. I see no grey area here at all. In Hebrews 3, we see that it is the unbelieving heart that falls away from God. If I am not "faithing" in Jesus, then I am "faithing" in myself and I am deliberately rebelling against God. When I don't obey Him, I'm being selfish and acting in unbelief. I have been reminded this week that I have taken the walk of death! I must die to self! This can manifest itself in so many different ways: in the way I treat my husband, the way I communicate with my children, the way I choose to spend my time and energy, and so much more.
In the midst of being reminded of this teaching, I was telephoned by a former student and we had a long conversation that really centered around believing God and following Christ. We both got off the phone encouraged and renewed in our focus to follow Jesus. Also in Hebrews chapter 3 is the statement, "So let us continue encouraging each other...so that your hearts will not be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. We follow Jesus when we encourage and exhort our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ--and we are called to do this everyday!
Another way we are called to follow Jesus was clearly pointed out to me today by my five year old daughter, Caroline. About a month ago, she and I were talking about what it means to give to those who are in need. I told her that Jesus tells us to help the poor and those who have no food or clothing. We hadn't talked about it at all since then, and all of a sudden today, she brought it up. We were in the car headed home when she said: 'Mommy, I think we should give some food and money to the poor." In my very adult way I said, "Well, I will try and figure out a place in town where we could do that. We'll do it tomorrow." Then she says, "Mom, lets just go to every house and see if they are poor and need food or money, then we would know. Lets do it now! Today!" I was overwhelmed by the fervency with which she spoke. "God wants us to do this", she said.
Just before I wrote this blog, I began to put all these pieces together and I realized that God prompted my little Caroline to demonstrate to me what it means to follow Christ.
1) God said it, and we should do it! (I believe God, so I'm going to obey Him)
2) We don't need to delay--we must do it now! (Delayed obedience is really disobedience)
3) Lets not just do it half-baked, lets go to every house and see if there is a need (Deny yourself fully and give your all to Him).
As I finish this day and this blog entry, I am reminded again of how much God loves us and how He is involved in the most intricate details of our lives, and he will use a fantastic Bible teacher, an authentic and real preacher, a student and friend, and 5 year old child to speak His truth. And, he did it all within just a few days. There is no doubt that my faith is strengthened, and I am convinced that there is some dying to self that needs to be done. I am praying that God will show me the specific ways I have neglected to trust and follow Jesus. Trust and obey, for there's no other way...
"There he hangs: Jesus, the Passover Lamb, in the veil of His flesh--God's covenant sacrifice! The way to God! Do you see Him? Do you believe? Are you ready to enter into covenant? O beloved, do you realize it is a solemn, binding agreement; one that is to be honored? Are you willing to die to your independent way of life?" (Kay Arthur)
Where you go, I'll go.
Where you stay, I'll stay.
When you move, I'll move.
I will follow.
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve, I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow You.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Its about TIME!!
As I came into this weekend, I just knew that the time was coming to write a new post for this blog. I didn't know what it would be about, and there were different ideas swirling around in my head. I can't describe the feeling I had, but I just knew that one was coming. There is something about the onset of the week of my Lord's Passion that just gets my heart tendered toward Him. I become really aware of the sin in my life and just how amazing His grace really is. I begin to ponder and meditate on just how much my God loves me. I think about His faithfulness when my tendency is to be anything but faithful. I think about the fact that I am His child, and with that identity and position comes amazing love, an abundance of mercy, and perfect discipline. What I mean by that is, His discipline always perfectly fits my need. He convicts me through His Word, or uses someone close to me to point me back to Him, He pries my fingers from things that I thought were good for me, He closes doors, and, sometimes He uses my children.
There are many times that I marvel at the wonderful creation of God called parenting. I never would have dreamed the lessons I have learned by being a parent. It is through parenting that God has given me a little taste of what he feels about me, and a better understanding of just how much He loves me. He also shows me, through the actions of my children, how I can treat Him. He shows me my tendency toward independence and rebellion. And, through it all, I come to a deeper and clearer understanding of His patience, kindness, and love.
The last few weeks have not been easy nor pleasant for me. Caroline is in a phase that I would call her first adolescence. Sure, her twos were terrible at times :) but, this is different. There has been the crossing of the arms, rolling of the eyes, and huffing around like she's 15 already. I found myself saying several times today, "O Lord help me!" I am quite sure that she has spoken to me in ways I never spoke to my parents, and Allen and I are disciplining in the same way I was raised--and it worked! Sometimes it is like she's never been disciplined in her entire life, which couldn't be further from the truth. Being a student of the wonderful book "Shepherding a Child's Heart", my thoughts have been, "Okay, we've got to get to the heart of this. I will ask probing questions to see what is going on in her heart." While a 15 year old wouldn't have much trouble speaking her mind, a 5 year old isn't quite there yet. I have wondered if it has something to do with Julianne at some level. Allen and I have thought that it is important to make sure Caroline is getting the attention from us that she needs. There is no doubt that has suffered a bit since I have gone back to teaching this year---and taking Hebrew---AND teaching a Bible study---AND doing the things a wife and mom does for her family every day.
Bottom line: For a child, love is spelled T-I-M-E. I was reminded of this truth again as I talked over our situation with my parents. What a blessing to have godly parents who will tell you like it is in a loving an gentle way. Thanks, mom and dad for your words of wisdom tonight. After our phone conversation, I sprung into action. The determined perfectionist that I am---I got off of the phone and immediately started to think of ways I could spend some quality time with Caroline--to listen to her, talk to her, and spend more time with her. So, tomorrow for lunch it is a mommy daughter date to her favorite restaurant in town.
But, even after that decision was made, I still felt like I needed to think through somethings and pray. I don't know where your prayer closet is, but mine is in the shower. :) Yes, you read that correctly. Many times, if I need to clear my head or talk to God I jump into a nice warm shower and start thinking, praying, and sometimes talking. Thankfully I didn't do this in college or my suite mates would have thought I was crazy!! I cannot tell you how many times God has spoken to my heart during these times. Weird huh? Well, tonight I had another spiritual revelation in the shower!
I was thinking about how Caroline has been behaving and I believe this anger has manifested itself because I have not had time to give her my full undivided attention. Sure, I tell her I love her, I tell her she is beautiful, I tell her how happy I am that she is my daughter. But you know what---words are not enough. I began to think about times in my own life when I have longed for someone to spend time with me, to really stop what they are doing and make me a priority. We humans SO depend upon that. I have learned that ministry opportunities take TIME. Any time that I have done work for the Kingdom, it has meant sacrificing my own selfish goals and ambitions for the day. Often, the opportunities God provides for ministry happen at what we would consider the worst possible time. But, we then realize that if we follow through and obey, we reap a blessing of joy that far outweighs anything we would have chosen to do that day on our own. For a child, the same rules apply, in a way. I am convinced that what Caroline needs most right now, is for me to show my love to her by spending time with her and giving her my undivided attention. Its time for me to put away the homework, the cleaning, the cooking, the emailing, and the myriads of other things that distract me and just listen to her.
As I stood in the shower I came to a realization. Like my relationship with Caroline, Julianne, and Allen--words alone cannot define my relationship with God. My words are not enough. I can stand there in church and worship with a pure heart, and I can lead a group of women in a Bible study, and I can talk about Him to my family, but these words cannot be the measure of my relationship with Him. But the words I speak with Him alone--one on one in a time that I have sacrificed and set aside just for Him--that is different. Love is spelled T-I-M-E. I was brought to the place where I realized yet again how my words may not be enough but His Word is. I can converse with him through His Word. I can listen to Him. I can revel in His presence. You know what is really wonderful?? When I neglect my time with Him, He does not respond as Caroline or I would respond if someone were not spending time with me. He does not react in anger, He doesn't wine or complain, He doesn't speak ill of me. Instead, He patiently waits. And, when my well runs dry and I realize I have neglected my first love, all I have to do is confess and run back to Him and He is waiting with open arms to pour out his love, truth, and freedom into my soul. He is my Abba, Father.
I heard a great sermon today about the events of Palm Sunday, and the attitudes of those in the crowd. The man who preached described these people as merely "fans" of Jesus, not followers. By the end of the week, many of these people changed their "Hosannas" (Save!) to "Crucify Him!!" He asked us--are you a fan of Jesus or a follower? This really hit me. When we are a fan of someone, we can talk them up really well, but it is so surface--so fleeting. We can talk the good, churchy talk--can't we? But when the rubber meets the road--or should I say, when our feet hit the pavement---are we following Him? Are we walking as Jesus walked? Doing so requires sacrifice. It requires a crucifixion. We must die to self and instead, abide in Him. "I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the One who loved me and gave Himself for me." Faith is not just speaking doctrinal truths, it is living out day by day, step by step--the actions that define a follower of Christ.
Abide in Him. Talk with Him. Spend time with Him. He is our Abba.
And He is waiting and so willing.
There are many times that I marvel at the wonderful creation of God called parenting. I never would have dreamed the lessons I have learned by being a parent. It is through parenting that God has given me a little taste of what he feels about me, and a better understanding of just how much He loves me. He also shows me, through the actions of my children, how I can treat Him. He shows me my tendency toward independence and rebellion. And, through it all, I come to a deeper and clearer understanding of His patience, kindness, and love.
The last few weeks have not been easy nor pleasant for me. Caroline is in a phase that I would call her first adolescence. Sure, her twos were terrible at times :) but, this is different. There has been the crossing of the arms, rolling of the eyes, and huffing around like she's 15 already. I found myself saying several times today, "O Lord help me!" I am quite sure that she has spoken to me in ways I never spoke to my parents, and Allen and I are disciplining in the same way I was raised--and it worked! Sometimes it is like she's never been disciplined in her entire life, which couldn't be further from the truth. Being a student of the wonderful book "Shepherding a Child's Heart", my thoughts have been, "Okay, we've got to get to the heart of this. I will ask probing questions to see what is going on in her heart." While a 15 year old wouldn't have much trouble speaking her mind, a 5 year old isn't quite there yet. I have wondered if it has something to do with Julianne at some level. Allen and I have thought that it is important to make sure Caroline is getting the attention from us that she needs. There is no doubt that has suffered a bit since I have gone back to teaching this year---and taking Hebrew---AND teaching a Bible study---AND doing the things a wife and mom does for her family every day.
Bottom line: For a child, love is spelled T-I-M-E. I was reminded of this truth again as I talked over our situation with my parents. What a blessing to have godly parents who will tell you like it is in a loving an gentle way. Thanks, mom and dad for your words of wisdom tonight. After our phone conversation, I sprung into action. The determined perfectionist that I am---I got off of the phone and immediately started to think of ways I could spend some quality time with Caroline--to listen to her, talk to her, and spend more time with her. So, tomorrow for lunch it is a mommy daughter date to her favorite restaurant in town.
But, even after that decision was made, I still felt like I needed to think through somethings and pray. I don't know where your prayer closet is, but mine is in the shower. :) Yes, you read that correctly. Many times, if I need to clear my head or talk to God I jump into a nice warm shower and start thinking, praying, and sometimes talking. Thankfully I didn't do this in college or my suite mates would have thought I was crazy!! I cannot tell you how many times God has spoken to my heart during these times. Weird huh? Well, tonight I had another spiritual revelation in the shower!
I was thinking about how Caroline has been behaving and I believe this anger has manifested itself because I have not had time to give her my full undivided attention. Sure, I tell her I love her, I tell her she is beautiful, I tell her how happy I am that she is my daughter. But you know what---words are not enough. I began to think about times in my own life when I have longed for someone to spend time with me, to really stop what they are doing and make me a priority. We humans SO depend upon that. I have learned that ministry opportunities take TIME. Any time that I have done work for the Kingdom, it has meant sacrificing my own selfish goals and ambitions for the day. Often, the opportunities God provides for ministry happen at what we would consider the worst possible time. But, we then realize that if we follow through and obey, we reap a blessing of joy that far outweighs anything we would have chosen to do that day on our own. For a child, the same rules apply, in a way. I am convinced that what Caroline needs most right now, is for me to show my love to her by spending time with her and giving her my undivided attention. Its time for me to put away the homework, the cleaning, the cooking, the emailing, and the myriads of other things that distract me and just listen to her.
As I stood in the shower I came to a realization. Like my relationship with Caroline, Julianne, and Allen--words alone cannot define my relationship with God. My words are not enough. I can stand there in church and worship with a pure heart, and I can lead a group of women in a Bible study, and I can talk about Him to my family, but these words cannot be the measure of my relationship with Him. But the words I speak with Him alone--one on one in a time that I have sacrificed and set aside just for Him--that is different. Love is spelled T-I-M-E. I was brought to the place where I realized yet again how my words may not be enough but His Word is. I can converse with him through His Word. I can listen to Him. I can revel in His presence. You know what is really wonderful?? When I neglect my time with Him, He does not respond as Caroline or I would respond if someone were not spending time with me. He does not react in anger, He doesn't wine or complain, He doesn't speak ill of me. Instead, He patiently waits. And, when my well runs dry and I realize I have neglected my first love, all I have to do is confess and run back to Him and He is waiting with open arms to pour out his love, truth, and freedom into my soul. He is my Abba, Father.
I heard a great sermon today about the events of Palm Sunday, and the attitudes of those in the crowd. The man who preached described these people as merely "fans" of Jesus, not followers. By the end of the week, many of these people changed their "Hosannas" (Save!) to "Crucify Him!!" He asked us--are you a fan of Jesus or a follower? This really hit me. When we are a fan of someone, we can talk them up really well, but it is so surface--so fleeting. We can talk the good, churchy talk--can't we? But when the rubber meets the road--or should I say, when our feet hit the pavement---are we following Him? Are we walking as Jesus walked? Doing so requires sacrifice. It requires a crucifixion. We must die to self and instead, abide in Him. "I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the One who loved me and gave Himself for me." Faith is not just speaking doctrinal truths, it is living out day by day, step by step--the actions that define a follower of Christ.
Abide in Him. Talk with Him. Spend time with Him. He is our Abba.
And He is waiting and so willing.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Identity
The past few weeks, a friend and I have been leading a Bible study for college women who attend Luther. We have been studying the book of Ephesians, and are wrapping up the first three chapters. I don't know how many of you are familiar with this epistle of Paul, but it has many distinguishing characteristics that set it apart from his other letters. I won't go into all of that right now, but one aspect of Ephesians that makes it unique is that Paul does not address a specific problem within the church. In fact, many believe that this letter was circulated amongst many churches in the region of Asia Minor (modern day Turkey).
It was a letter written to the church--the body of Christ and it has great implications for our lives today. For the first half of the epistle, Paul sets out to proclaim to the Ephesians (and other area churches) just exactly who they really are--both collectively and individually. Half of the epistle is spent revealing truths that were once unimaginable to the Gentiles. Interestingly enough, I think some of us today find them unimaginable. Because, if we truly believed them, our lives would be different. Our thoughts about ourselves and who we really are would change drastically. Our daily choices and the motives behind them would look so different.
As I sit here and think about the choices I made today, I realize that many of the wrong choices came from a mistaken identity. What I mean by that is, when I choose to believe what others say about me or what I think about myself instead of the Truth in God's Word, I usually don't make good choices. Ephesians 1-3 clearly points out who I really am. But, the question is, do I believe that is really my identity?
Who am I? What are the essential characteristics that define who I am?
Is my self worth tied up in my perception of myself? Does what I do define who I am?
Ask those questions of yourself and write down some answers.
To be totally honest, for most of my life my self worth was tied up in how I perceived myself or how others perceived me. My identity was tied up in "the doing" of life: my performances, my teaching, my successes, my failures.
How many of us look in the mirror, or think these thoughts...
"I am a failure. I can't do this as well as __________ can."
"I am not beautiful at all."
"I am not a good _____________________ because I can't seem to get results that others would deem successful."
"I am unable to change."
"I am unloved."
Of course, there is the other side of the coin too! When everything is going our way, we tend to think:
"I am really gorgeous today!"
"I am such a good ______________________."
"I must really be something because of what this other person said about me."
Isn't it amazing how one day we can feel one way, and the next day we feel another way about ourselves? Is this the way we are supposed to exist??? Are we supposed to be on an emotional roller coaster?
NO.
I don't know about you, but after I rode this roller coaster for several years, I got sick. Miserably sick. What I didn't realize was that I was believing a lie.
Who I am is not determined by what others think, what I think, what society thinks...etc...
Why? Because I am IN CHRIST.
These two seemingly simple words make all the difference, because apart from Christ, I am nothing, but IN CHRIST I am:
forgiven
loved
accepted
adopted
chosen--i.e. hand picked
blessed
favored
beautiful
reconciled to God
given an eternal inheritance that will never spoil or decay
renewed day after day
given a very special purpose
a friend of God
a dwelling place of God
a new creation
a saint
a masterpiece
righteous and holy
a part of something greater than myself
a citizen of heaven
free from condemnation
free from the control of sin and evil
FREE
FREE
FREE!
Now, to be honest, I am going through a time right now, where I need to repeat these truths over and over again. I can feel myself slipping back--and waiting in line to ride the roller coaster of misery! In my thought life, I have been trying to tell myself that I am a failure--not doing good enough.
I am done with that ride. No thanks! Not going back.
I am going to chose to believe that His divine power has given me everything I need for this life, and to live a godly life. (2 Peter 1:3). I am going to choose to believe that God sees me as pure, holy, beautiful, righteous. I am going to chose to believe that I am highly favored. I am going to choose to pursue all that He has called me to do for His kingdom and His glory.
Is it because of anything I've done? NO!!!
When are we going to get it through our thick, stubborn skulls that it is nothing we do. It is all His work. Only when we get this truth can we respond in true freedom and gratefulness. Only then can we really experience joy and a hope that never fails.
That is why Paul (after he tells the church all that they possess in Christ) inserts this very important truth: "For it is by GRACE that you have been saved, it is NOT from yourselves, it is the gift of God, so that no one can boast." THEN, he says, "for we are God's masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Eph. 2:8-10)
Our good works will follow because of who we already ARE in Christ. Not because of something we do or earn. Everytime we are driven by performance, we are operating under a mistaken identity. If you are a believer, you already possess every spiritual blessing possible. Why should you have to earn anything? Isn't his grace marvelous? I realize that every time I pursue the praise of others, I am demeaning God's grace.
So, think about your choices today, as I am thinking about mine. Or better yet, think about the choices you made this last week--is there a pattern? There definitely were patterns in my choices. Never forget that choices are what make up your day, and these choices stem from what you believe or hold dear. "We live and act according to how we perceive ourselves" is a great quote from one of the Bible studies I have gone through recently.
I'm not saying that we won't have difficult times--times of serious suffering. There is no doubt that we will. But, in the midst of that suffering, we can have a right view of ourselves and save ourselves a lot of excess heartache and misery. "Christ in you, the hope of glory."
I have been contemplating what I should give up for this season of Lent. My thoughts first went to food, but deep down I knew this wasn't the avenue to take. I knew I'd be doing it for the wrong reasons. I now realize that what I should give up is myself. I will offer my body as a living sacrifice--holy and acceptable to God. I will be transformed buy the renewing of my mind, instead of thinking self-full thoughts. I will fix my eyes on Jesus, the perfecter of my faith. I will chose to walk in the Spirit, believing who God says I really am and not clinging to what this world says of me. I want to grasp and take hold of what I already possess in Christ.
I came across a short video about identity on You Tube. I think this says it quite perfectly.
Identity
Just like the glass pictured in the clip, we can only begin to see ourselves clearly when, through the pouring out of the Holy Spirit into our cup, we allow His truth to permeate us and to overflow. Then and only then will we perceive ourselves rightly and live the life He has planned for us since before the creation of the world.
"I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance. I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 1
"I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen." (Ephesians 3)
It was a letter written to the church--the body of Christ and it has great implications for our lives today. For the first half of the epistle, Paul sets out to proclaim to the Ephesians (and other area churches) just exactly who they really are--both collectively and individually. Half of the epistle is spent revealing truths that were once unimaginable to the Gentiles. Interestingly enough, I think some of us today find them unimaginable. Because, if we truly believed them, our lives would be different. Our thoughts about ourselves and who we really are would change drastically. Our daily choices and the motives behind them would look so different.
As I sit here and think about the choices I made today, I realize that many of the wrong choices came from a mistaken identity. What I mean by that is, when I choose to believe what others say about me or what I think about myself instead of the Truth in God's Word, I usually don't make good choices. Ephesians 1-3 clearly points out who I really am. But, the question is, do I believe that is really my identity?
Who am I? What are the essential characteristics that define who I am?
Is my self worth tied up in my perception of myself? Does what I do define who I am?
Ask those questions of yourself and write down some answers.
To be totally honest, for most of my life my self worth was tied up in how I perceived myself or how others perceived me. My identity was tied up in "the doing" of life: my performances, my teaching, my successes, my failures.
How many of us look in the mirror, or think these thoughts...
"I am a failure. I can't do this as well as __________ can."
"I am not beautiful at all."
"I am not a good _____________________ because I can't seem to get results that others would deem successful."
"I am unable to change."
"I am unloved."
Of course, there is the other side of the coin too! When everything is going our way, we tend to think:
"I am really gorgeous today!"
"I am such a good ______________________."
"I must really be something because of what this other person said about me."
Isn't it amazing how one day we can feel one way, and the next day we feel another way about ourselves? Is this the way we are supposed to exist??? Are we supposed to be on an emotional roller coaster?
NO.
I don't know about you, but after I rode this roller coaster for several years, I got sick. Miserably sick. What I didn't realize was that I was believing a lie.
Who I am is not determined by what others think, what I think, what society thinks...etc...
Why? Because I am IN CHRIST.
These two seemingly simple words make all the difference, because apart from Christ, I am nothing, but IN CHRIST I am:
forgiven
loved
accepted
adopted
chosen--i.e. hand picked
blessed
favored
beautiful
reconciled to God
given an eternal inheritance that will never spoil or decay
renewed day after day
given a very special purpose
a friend of God
a dwelling place of God
a new creation
a saint
a masterpiece
righteous and holy
a part of something greater than myself
a citizen of heaven
free from condemnation
free from the control of sin and evil
FREE
FREE
FREE!
Now, to be honest, I am going through a time right now, where I need to repeat these truths over and over again. I can feel myself slipping back--and waiting in line to ride the roller coaster of misery! In my thought life, I have been trying to tell myself that I am a failure--not doing good enough.
I am done with that ride. No thanks! Not going back.
I am going to chose to believe that His divine power has given me everything I need for this life, and to live a godly life. (2 Peter 1:3). I am going to choose to believe that God sees me as pure, holy, beautiful, righteous. I am going to chose to believe that I am highly favored. I am going to choose to pursue all that He has called me to do for His kingdom and His glory.
Is it because of anything I've done? NO!!!
When are we going to get it through our thick, stubborn skulls that it is nothing we do. It is all His work. Only when we get this truth can we respond in true freedom and gratefulness. Only then can we really experience joy and a hope that never fails.
That is why Paul (after he tells the church all that they possess in Christ) inserts this very important truth: "For it is by GRACE that you have been saved, it is NOT from yourselves, it is the gift of God, so that no one can boast." THEN, he says, "for we are God's masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Eph. 2:8-10)
Our good works will follow because of who we already ARE in Christ. Not because of something we do or earn. Everytime we are driven by performance, we are operating under a mistaken identity. If you are a believer, you already possess every spiritual blessing possible. Why should you have to earn anything? Isn't his grace marvelous? I realize that every time I pursue the praise of others, I am demeaning God's grace.
So, think about your choices today, as I am thinking about mine. Or better yet, think about the choices you made this last week--is there a pattern? There definitely were patterns in my choices. Never forget that choices are what make up your day, and these choices stem from what you believe or hold dear. "We live and act according to how we perceive ourselves" is a great quote from one of the Bible studies I have gone through recently.
I'm not saying that we won't have difficult times--times of serious suffering. There is no doubt that we will. But, in the midst of that suffering, we can have a right view of ourselves and save ourselves a lot of excess heartache and misery. "Christ in you, the hope of glory."
I have been contemplating what I should give up for this season of Lent. My thoughts first went to food, but deep down I knew this wasn't the avenue to take. I knew I'd be doing it for the wrong reasons. I now realize that what I should give up is myself. I will offer my body as a living sacrifice--holy and acceptable to God. I will be transformed buy the renewing of my mind, instead of thinking self-full thoughts. I will fix my eyes on Jesus, the perfecter of my faith. I will chose to walk in the Spirit, believing who God says I really am and not clinging to what this world says of me. I want to grasp and take hold of what I already possess in Christ.
I came across a short video about identity on You Tube. I think this says it quite perfectly.
Identity
Just like the glass pictured in the clip, we can only begin to see ourselves clearly when, through the pouring out of the Holy Spirit into our cup, we allow His truth to permeate us and to overflow. Then and only then will we perceive ourselves rightly and live the life He has planned for us since before the creation of the world.
"I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance. I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 1
"I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen." (Ephesians 3)
Saturday, February 5, 2011
True Beauty
This past weekend I had two experiences that I know God meant just for me—to encourage me, to draw me to Himself, and to ultimately share with others. Reader warning—this entry is NOT PC! I am a woman in every sense of the word and I am going to express my true beliefs about womanhood! You see, as a woman, I so easily get caught up in the anxieties that come from wanting to look beautiful on the outside. Can I get an amen from any other woman reading this?? Frankly, there have been moments in my life where this consumed my thoughts. I have noticed that happening again, as of late. My focus on Jesus Christ has been divided, and my quiet time surface and obligatory. I have been praying that God would speak to my heart again, and that I would have some moments of true worship and communion with Him. This has been my prayer partly because I am beginning a college women’s Bible study in 2 days and I haven’t felt the usual anointing and fire in my gut. A new friend and I are going to teach the book of Ephesians to a group of college gals at Luther. I have always loved the book of Ephesians, and recently, have come to love chapter 1 in particular. I’ve read the epistle several times in the last 2 weeks, but there was no fresh word and I was longing for one! Well, this weekend, He put a fire in my gut again and gave me a fresh word. I love it when He does that.
You see, within the opening verses of this epistle of Paul, God’s Truth about who I am in Christ is revealed in such beautiful and almost poetic language. It is a true description of the Bride of Christ—His Church. I love it that we are His bride. As a female, I really get into that analogy! When I think of a bride, I picture a radiant woman in white, lots of flowers, lots of satin and tulle, and sheer beauty. Guess what? That is supposed to be me, and anyone else who is a believer in Christ. We are beautiful. Paul lays that out clearly in Ephesians 1. If you are familiar with the passage, you might be saying---beauty? Where are you getting that??
Well, it goes back to what I said in the opening paragraph. As a woman, I want to feel beautiful. What goes along with feeling beautiful? When have I felt the most beautiful in my life? These words come to mind: Belonging. Security. Acceptance. Purity. Blessing. Joy. When I know I belong, am secure and accepted, I feel beautiful. When I know I am pure and white as the beautiful hills of snow just outside my window—I feel beautiful. When I am showered with gifts—unexpectedly and for nothing I have done, I feel especially beautiful. When my husband looks at me with tenderness in his eyes and tells me that he loves me……you get the idea.
Yesterday, I received a package in the mail from my Dad. I am 35 years old and my dad sent me a gift—just because I am his daughter. He sent me a box of Godiva Dark Chocolate Truffles. These are my absolute favorite and he knows it. When I opened the box and saw the little note he wrote on it, my middle-aged heart felt 20 years younger. It was reminiscent of how I felt when I married Allen. Can it also be reminiscent of some of my quiet moments with my Savior, Jesus Christ? ABSOLUTELY! It is a deep emotion that only a woman can feel. I know that this is extremely un-PC but I don’t care. I believe God created man and woman differently, and men just don’t understand this like women do. So, if you are a male and reading this, sorry! As I took out that first truffle and began to eat it (Yum!), I knew that my daddy loves me and was thinking about me. I knew that I was accepted—because I am his daughter. I knew that I was beautiful, and I was secure in that. That simple act of love made my week! It brought back many memories of our daddy/daughter dinners, trips to the mall (Yes!), ice cream sundaes, and many other special times when my dad was parenting like his Heavenly Father parents. I always knew I was beautiful in my daddy’s eyes. Yesterday’s gift reminded me that I still am.
And then, today we ended up at the Mall of America. I had told Caroline that I would take her to the American Girl store located there. She and I had talked about getting a matching outfit of some kind that she and her doll Emma could wear. She decided she wanted matching pajamas. So, we bought them and she couldn’t wait to get home and put them on. She took one of the fastest baths I’ve ever seen and then she dressed herself in the pjs and we both dressed Emma in hers. It was so fun! I felt like a 6 year old dressing up my dolls. I knew immediately that this was one of those times of mother/daughter bonding and that pictures must be taken to capture the moment. As I held the camera up to take the shot and I looked at my daughter through the viewfinder, I felt a searing of my soul and Spirit, and a deep sense of love for my beautiful child sitting before me. Caroline was radiant in EVERY since of the word. Was her hair perfect? No. Was she wearing make up? Heavens, no and not for many more years! Was she dressed to the 9’s? Uh, no. PJs. Was every physical blemish or scratch concealed in some way? No.
Not only was she beautiful on the outside (I know, a mother’s bias!), but her inner beauty was shining through. In that moment, Caroline was secure, content, joyful, and feminine. Childlike femininity just oozed out of her and flowed over onto me. It was a priceless time that I will never forget. If I can love my child with such a love, how much more does my heavenly Father love me. When He looks through His viewfinder and sees me smiling with the radiance of child-like faith and the purity that I have through His Son, I know that He feels, at an even deeper level, what I felt tonight. My mind cannot comprehend what God feels, but He gave me a taste of it. I was deeply moved and again, I felt beautiful--as a parent--a mom, a woman, a daughter of the King. I could not stop thanking Him.
Through these two experiences, God has reminded me that he created me FEMININE, beautiful and radiant. I am His daughter. I belong. I have an inheritance.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will — to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment — to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ. In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession — to the praise of his glory.”
We, as God’s bride (men and women of course) don’t posses only a few blessings. We possess EVERY SPIRITUAL blessing in Christ. Notice that the blessings are not material or monetary. They are spiritual. I get so disgusted with preachers who only talk about material wealth and prosperity. Do they not realize that all of that is not going to last? We are not leaving earth with that stuff. God wants to bless us with SO MUCH more than money and prosperity. He has given us every spiritual blessing!! EVERY SINGLE ONE. And, each one of these blessings is eternal. They will not end when we die. Think for a minute about spiritual blessings and what that means. He wants to bless that eternal part of you. Wow.
He chose us in Him BEFORE THE CREATION OF THE WORLD. Have you ever really quieted yourself enough to ponder this truth? It blows my mind that God chose ME before spoke the world into existence. He chose us to be adopted as his children through Jesus because He wanted to! He didn’t just pick out the Israelites, he included us Gentiles! It was His pleasure to do so, just like it was my dad’s pleasure to send me my favorite box of chocolates. Okay, maybe not just like that—on a deeper level, but you get my meaning.
As Christ’s bride, I am PURE. All of my sins past, present, and future are forgiven and washed clean. I am redeemed! Christ’s church—His bride—is holy. I don’t have to try and prove myself, or make myself seem beautiful by my works. I don’t have to cover up my blemishes and scars. My faith in Jesus and His sacrifice wipes them away and does all the work that needs to be done. To me, that is FREEDOM!
God lavishes His grace on us. Try and create a visual for the verb lavishes. To me, this word means over-doing, pouring out in abundance, not holding anything back. Some synonyms are: extravagant, lush, heaping, abundant, sumptuous, copious, plentiful, bountiful. What a loving Father! Not only has he adopted us, but he lavishes more grace on us than we could possibly comprehend. In a material sense, if I had lavished things on Caroline today, I would have bought her the entire American Girl store and given her all of its contents. Get the picture?? No matter how much I mess up or demean His sacrifice through my unbelief, His grace is sufficient. Its more that sufficient. His grace outweighs my sin. My sin and yours cannot stack up to the height and depth of His grace.
And, if that wasn’t enough, when I believed on Jesus Christ, God the Father marked me as His own. In the spiritual realm, I have a mark on me—the Holy Spirit. I truly believe that all the angels, demons, and any other beings that exist in that realm know I am His child. I am His radiant bride. They see my beauty! My enemy knows I am beautiful. That is why he tries to convince me that I’m not. He does not want me to get this concept. He does not want me to be free. I will say it again, Satan knows you are beautiful.
So, the question comes to me: “Why can’t I see it in myself?”
And that my friends is where the rubber meets the road. The reason I fall into insecure and self-loathing thoughts is because I am not believing the Truth. It all boils down to faith!!!! When I am consumed with my physical appearance and believing that I am not beautiful, then I am believing a lie rather than the truth expressed in Ephesians 1. I am depriving myself of the spiritual blessings that he has for me and I am essentially devaluing what He has done for me.
Here is the fact of the matter. If you are in Christ; if He is your Savior and you are following Him, then you are beautiful. It is a fact. Not only are you beautiful---you are RADIANT. No ifs, no ands, no buts.
Will you choose to believe it?
The broken, weary and poor
Finding...You are the cure
The weak and dying, glorifying, You in it all...
It’s the song of the beautiful, Jesus Loves Me...
It’s the song of the beautiful, Jesus Saved Me...
The song of the redeemed, the echoes of those made free,
It’s the song of the beautiful, Jesus Loves Me...
The fallen back on their feet
The fatherless now complete...
The innocent suffering, rising from wounding, to find...You were there all along!
It’s the song of the beautiful, Jesus Loves Me...
It’s the song of the beautiful, Jesus Saved Me...
The song of the redeemed, the echoes of those made free -
It’s the song of the beautiful, Jesus Loves Me...
Oh how He loves me
Oh how He loves me
Oh how He love me...
The broken, the beautiful....
The prodigal running home...
The widow never alone...
The one who is waiting, rising and singing, “You...Jesus, You Are My All!”
Written by Christy Nockels
© 2009 worshiptogether.com Songs / sixsteps Music (admin. by EMI CMG Publishing) (ASCAP)
You see, within the opening verses of this epistle of Paul, God’s Truth about who I am in Christ is revealed in such beautiful and almost poetic language. It is a true description of the Bride of Christ—His Church. I love it that we are His bride. As a female, I really get into that analogy! When I think of a bride, I picture a radiant woman in white, lots of flowers, lots of satin and tulle, and sheer beauty. Guess what? That is supposed to be me, and anyone else who is a believer in Christ. We are beautiful. Paul lays that out clearly in Ephesians 1. If you are familiar with the passage, you might be saying---beauty? Where are you getting that??
Well, it goes back to what I said in the opening paragraph. As a woman, I want to feel beautiful. What goes along with feeling beautiful? When have I felt the most beautiful in my life? These words come to mind: Belonging. Security. Acceptance. Purity. Blessing. Joy. When I know I belong, am secure and accepted, I feel beautiful. When I know I am pure and white as the beautiful hills of snow just outside my window—I feel beautiful. When I am showered with gifts—unexpectedly and for nothing I have done, I feel especially beautiful. When my husband looks at me with tenderness in his eyes and tells me that he loves me……you get the idea.
Yesterday, I received a package in the mail from my Dad. I am 35 years old and my dad sent me a gift—just because I am his daughter. He sent me a box of Godiva Dark Chocolate Truffles. These are my absolute favorite and he knows it. When I opened the box and saw the little note he wrote on it, my middle-aged heart felt 20 years younger. It was reminiscent of how I felt when I married Allen. Can it also be reminiscent of some of my quiet moments with my Savior, Jesus Christ? ABSOLUTELY! It is a deep emotion that only a woman can feel. I know that this is extremely un-PC but I don’t care. I believe God created man and woman differently, and men just don’t understand this like women do. So, if you are a male and reading this, sorry! As I took out that first truffle and began to eat it (Yum!), I knew that my daddy loves me and was thinking about me. I knew that I was accepted—because I am his daughter. I knew that I was beautiful, and I was secure in that. That simple act of love made my week! It brought back many memories of our daddy/daughter dinners, trips to the mall (Yes!), ice cream sundaes, and many other special times when my dad was parenting like his Heavenly Father parents. I always knew I was beautiful in my daddy’s eyes. Yesterday’s gift reminded me that I still am.
And then, today we ended up at the Mall of America. I had told Caroline that I would take her to the American Girl store located there. She and I had talked about getting a matching outfit of some kind that she and her doll Emma could wear. She decided she wanted matching pajamas. So, we bought them and she couldn’t wait to get home and put them on. She took one of the fastest baths I’ve ever seen and then she dressed herself in the pjs and we both dressed Emma in hers. It was so fun! I felt like a 6 year old dressing up my dolls. I knew immediately that this was one of those times of mother/daughter bonding and that pictures must be taken to capture the moment. As I held the camera up to take the shot and I looked at my daughter through the viewfinder, I felt a searing of my soul and Spirit, and a deep sense of love for my beautiful child sitting before me. Caroline was radiant in EVERY since of the word. Was her hair perfect? No. Was she wearing make up? Heavens, no and not for many more years! Was she dressed to the 9’s? Uh, no. PJs. Was every physical blemish or scratch concealed in some way? No.
Not only was she beautiful on the outside (I know, a mother’s bias!), but her inner beauty was shining through. In that moment, Caroline was secure, content, joyful, and feminine. Childlike femininity just oozed out of her and flowed over onto me. It was a priceless time that I will never forget. If I can love my child with such a love, how much more does my heavenly Father love me. When He looks through His viewfinder and sees me smiling with the radiance of child-like faith and the purity that I have through His Son, I know that He feels, at an even deeper level, what I felt tonight. My mind cannot comprehend what God feels, but He gave me a taste of it. I was deeply moved and again, I felt beautiful--as a parent--a mom, a woman, a daughter of the King. I could not stop thanking Him.
Through these two experiences, God has reminded me that he created me FEMININE, beautiful and radiant. I am His daughter. I belong. I have an inheritance.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will — to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment — to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ. In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession — to the praise of his glory.”
We, as God’s bride (men and women of course) don’t posses only a few blessings. We possess EVERY SPIRITUAL blessing in Christ. Notice that the blessings are not material or monetary. They are spiritual. I get so disgusted with preachers who only talk about material wealth and prosperity. Do they not realize that all of that is not going to last? We are not leaving earth with that stuff. God wants to bless us with SO MUCH more than money and prosperity. He has given us every spiritual blessing!! EVERY SINGLE ONE. And, each one of these blessings is eternal. They will not end when we die. Think for a minute about spiritual blessings and what that means. He wants to bless that eternal part of you. Wow.
He chose us in Him BEFORE THE CREATION OF THE WORLD. Have you ever really quieted yourself enough to ponder this truth? It blows my mind that God chose ME before spoke the world into existence. He chose us to be adopted as his children through Jesus because He wanted to! He didn’t just pick out the Israelites, he included us Gentiles! It was His pleasure to do so, just like it was my dad’s pleasure to send me my favorite box of chocolates. Okay, maybe not just like that—on a deeper level, but you get my meaning.
As Christ’s bride, I am PURE. All of my sins past, present, and future are forgiven and washed clean. I am redeemed! Christ’s church—His bride—is holy. I don’t have to try and prove myself, or make myself seem beautiful by my works. I don’t have to cover up my blemishes and scars. My faith in Jesus and His sacrifice wipes them away and does all the work that needs to be done. To me, that is FREEDOM!
God lavishes His grace on us. Try and create a visual for the verb lavishes. To me, this word means over-doing, pouring out in abundance, not holding anything back. Some synonyms are: extravagant, lush, heaping, abundant, sumptuous, copious, plentiful, bountiful. What a loving Father! Not only has he adopted us, but he lavishes more grace on us than we could possibly comprehend. In a material sense, if I had lavished things on Caroline today, I would have bought her the entire American Girl store and given her all of its contents. Get the picture?? No matter how much I mess up or demean His sacrifice through my unbelief, His grace is sufficient. Its more that sufficient. His grace outweighs my sin. My sin and yours cannot stack up to the height and depth of His grace.
And, if that wasn’t enough, when I believed on Jesus Christ, God the Father marked me as His own. In the spiritual realm, I have a mark on me—the Holy Spirit. I truly believe that all the angels, demons, and any other beings that exist in that realm know I am His child. I am His radiant bride. They see my beauty! My enemy knows I am beautiful. That is why he tries to convince me that I’m not. He does not want me to get this concept. He does not want me to be free. I will say it again, Satan knows you are beautiful.
So, the question comes to me: “Why can’t I see it in myself?”
And that my friends is where the rubber meets the road. The reason I fall into insecure and self-loathing thoughts is because I am not believing the Truth. It all boils down to faith!!!! When I am consumed with my physical appearance and believing that I am not beautiful, then I am believing a lie rather than the truth expressed in Ephesians 1. I am depriving myself of the spiritual blessings that he has for me and I am essentially devaluing what He has done for me.
Here is the fact of the matter. If you are in Christ; if He is your Savior and you are following Him, then you are beautiful. It is a fact. Not only are you beautiful---you are RADIANT. No ifs, no ands, no buts.
Will you choose to believe it?
The broken, weary and poor
Finding...You are the cure
The weak and dying, glorifying, You in it all...
It’s the song of the beautiful, Jesus Loves Me...
It’s the song of the beautiful, Jesus Saved Me...
The song of the redeemed, the echoes of those made free,
It’s the song of the beautiful, Jesus Loves Me...
The fallen back on their feet
The fatherless now complete...
The innocent suffering, rising from wounding, to find...You were there all along!
It’s the song of the beautiful, Jesus Loves Me...
It’s the song of the beautiful, Jesus Saved Me...
The song of the redeemed, the echoes of those made free -
It’s the song of the beautiful, Jesus Loves Me...
Oh how He loves me
Oh how He loves me
Oh how He love me...
The broken, the beautiful....
The prodigal running home...
The widow never alone...
The one who is waiting, rising and singing, “You...Jesus, You Are My All!”
Written by Christy Nockels
© 2009 worshiptogether.com Songs / sixsteps Music (admin. by EMI CMG Publishing) (ASCAP)
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