Its been a long time...

About a year ago, I purchased a little book for children entitled, "100 ways I know God loves me."
Each entry is about a page long, and is a wonderful source for teaching children about God and His love for us.  It had been awhile since I had read from it, but tonight I felt compelled to do so.  I opened the book and skimmed through a couple of pages until my eyes rested on the entry title:  "I know that God loves me because of His Grace."

Lately, I have begun to have several conversations and teaching moments with Caroline about exactly why Jesus came to earth, why He died on the cross, and why we are lost without Him.  We have had conversations about sin, and how we need Jesus as our Savior.  The entry on Grace seemed to be the perfect page to read, so I did.  And there it was...the gospel in all its glory presented in such a simple way that the mind of a 5 1/2 year old child could understand.  In the moments that I read to Caroline and in the conversation that followed, I believed that I fully comprehended this Grace of God.  It is a Truth that I have known since I was a child, and my parents had the same conversations with me.  But as the evening wore on, I realized that this, like many other Truths had become so familiar to me that I have been taking them for granted--and even minimizing them.

These thoughts began to form after I put Caroline to bed.   I turned on the TV and I briefly saw the news that Whitney Houston died today at 48 years of age.  My husband is 45, so I dare say this got me thinking.  I began thinking about how much success she had achieved in her short life here on earth. But with that worldy success came great difficulties, temptations, and hardships.  She struggled with so many addictions--as many of us do.  I remember being in 6th grade and hearing one of her first hits and thinking, WOW.  I'm sure that countless young girls wanted to be like her, and millions of people idolized her.  But in just 48 short years, her life is finished here.  Now what?  I have no idea if she knew Jesus, and I won't presume to guess--so I began turning the lens toward myself.

My first thought was, "What is 48 years compared to ETERNITY??"  I was taken back by how I cling so much to this life and the things of this world.  Sometimes I think I actually live as though this is all there is, when in my heart I know that there is real life awaiting me in heaven.  For the believer in Christ, this life should be thought of as a single breath, a blinking of an eye.  Then my next thought was, "What if God hadn't loved us?  What if He had not created this world with a plan to redeem it?"  If He hadn't, then if I died tomorrow my 36 years of life on this earth would be all there was that was good (and that was with many hardships and trials), and my eternity would be lived out separated from God my Creator in pure misery.   Immediately the Grace I have been taking for granted melted away the callouses and walls around my heart and all I could do was whisper, through tears, "Thank you, Father!"  "My Father.  He really is my Father and I am His child and I am not really home yet.  God forgive me for so desperately clinging to this world and the things of this world.  Forgive me for placing material things and education above the Hope to which I am called."  In those moments I had a fresh understanding again of Who He Is, who I am, and what He has done, and continues to do for me: and that is GRACE--UNMERITED FAVOR.

I have been studying John 11, in preparation for an upcoming Bible study with some of the female Luther college students.  I have been pondering one of the most powerful "I AM" statements of Christ that John records.  It is the statement Jesus makes to Martha before raising Lazarus from the dead.  He says to her, "I AM the Resurrection and the Life.  He who believes in me will live, even though he dies.  And whoever lives and believes in me will never die."  Then he asks Martha,  "Do you believe this?"

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself the question,  "What if He wasn't the Resurrection and the Life--Where would we end up?  What hope would we have?"  "What if the God of the universe had cared nothing about us?"  Just think about those questions for a bit.  They were sobering to me.  Hallelujah!  He IS a God who loves us and cares about us.  Hallelujah!  He planned to come to earth and become one of us.  He willingly suffered, bled, and died.  The Creator of the Universe---for my sin and yours.  Hallelujah!  He IS the Resurrection AND the Life and He rose again and is alive and is interceding for us!  Not only that, He imparts to us the same Life that is in Him.  How can this be? 

Oh love that wilt not let me go!!  Oh grace that is greater than all my sin!!

It is so interesting to me that the people who surrounded Jesus (his disciples and those who believed in Him) tended to treat Him the same way I do sometimes.  I can so often spout of Christian and Biblical doctrine with fluency and excitement, but not experience the person of Jesus in my heart, soul, and mind.   I so easily exchange theology for the reality of Jesus--the Resurrection and the Life.  Martha was doing the same thing.  She spouted off Pharisaical dogma with ease to Jesus when she spoke of her belief that Lazarus would be raised again on the last day.  Most of us would applaud her for such a strong stand of faith.  But Jesus comes back with,  "I AM the Resurrection".    In other words,  "Martha, all that you believe is embodied in ME, and wouldn't exist apart from me!"

This is the reminder I needed tonight.  I needed the reminder that my life is about a relationship with God through Jesus Christ--it is not about religion, the Bible verses I know, how often I go to church, or how many doctrinal truths I can quote.   Instead it is a daily surrender to His calling, and the mindset that this could be my last day here on earth.

What will I do for eternity today?  What can I do that will make an eternal difference rather than just make my day more comfortable.  Comfort is such a fleeting thing.  Am I living for eternity or just for tomorrow?  Am I throwing all my eggs into this earthly basket, or am I denying my selfish desires and following Him?

These are the questions I am asking myself, and I hope you will too.

This life is but a breath.  A blink of an eye.  Eternity is forever.  It never ends.

And at this crossroads stands Jesus saying and asking:  "I AM the Resurrection and the Life.  He who believes in me will live, even though he dies.  And whoever lives and believes in me will never die."

"Do you believe this?"