I was reminded tonight, as I comforted and held my 4 year old Caroline, that God's love is so deep and so amazing. Caroline had a bad dream of some sort tonight and ended up calling out, "I want my mommy!" I was already headed up the stairs, so the moment she spoke that phrase, I was in the room and she was in my arms. The whole time I was in there, I don't think she ever really woke up. In fact, it took me rocking her and saying several times, "Mommy's here...its okay....I'm here, don't worry!" before she finally calmed and returned to a peaceful sleep.
As I rocked her, my mind went to several things that I needed to accomplish before my own bedtime, but those thoughts were quickly squelched as I realized that this was a precious moment that I needed to hold on to for as long as possible. For one thing, I was reminded of just how much I love that precious girl. I cannot count the number of times Caroline said to me today, "I love you mommy." Nothing melts my heart like those four words! These days with my little ones are SO precious and are quickly moving on. I found myself wanting to freeze time. I was astounded that I felt such a deep and pure love for her, but that God loves her even more than I! And, in the middle of experiencing those deep emotions, was reminded of just how much God loves me.
The tears flowed. Why do I so easily doubt His love?
One of the gifts God gives us on this earth is the blessing of parenthood. Sure, sometimes "blessing" is not the word that comes to mind! But more often than not, my cup runneth over. I believe that it is the closest thing we will ever experience on this earth to how he feels about us. Some grandparents reading this may disagree! :)
Those 15 minutes were filled with many emotions: joy, anxiety, comfort, peace, love....and then came faith. It is so hard for me not to worry about my daughters and the future ahead. There is such evil in this world. But, in those moments, my faith was built. I prayed to God, "Lord, I don't know what the future holds, but I know you love Caroline more than I do, and you love me. Right now, in this moment, I believe You."
I firmly believe that tonight happened for a reason and that God was comforting me as I comforted Caroline. We have the assurance that no matter how much our faith is tested, God is faithful and loves us with an unfailing love.
I guess I just want to remind everyone reading this that you are loved....deeply.
His love endures forever...
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"I love you, LORD, and I lift my voice." I can't help but believe Caroline knows how much she is loved by her earthly parents as well as her Heavenly Father. It was evident as she worshiped in the 9 am service today. Please remind her how she was used by God this morning.A precious surprise for all of us.
ReplyDeleteAs I was teaching my 9th graders afterwards, I realized that Elijah's fear could have very well come from temporarily taking his eyes off God, but his tender God did not take His eyes off Elijah. No, not for one minute. Tears sprung as I taught...the realization that He lovingly keeps His eye on us all the time overwhelmed me. We need these sweet reminders, don't we?
Side note...I'm not wearing mascara on Mother's Day anymore. Last year, Jess singing "I Am," this year you,my friend, offering "I choose Jesus." Next year I'll be prepared. I am thankful for your gifts, Kristin! They help grow me.